Cremation is now the most common form of funeral in the UK — over three-quarters of deaths here are followed by cremation rather than burial. Yet many people still feel uncertain about what actually happens at a cremation funeral, what choices are open to them, and how the day is likely to feel.
This guide explains the different types of cremation funeral, what to expect on the day, how ashes are handled, and how to make the service genuinely personal to the person you have lost.
The two types of cremation funeral
Not all cremations are the same. The most important distinction is between attended and direct cremation.
Attended cremation
An attended cremation follows a format most people recognise: family and friends gather at the crematorium for a ceremony before the coffin is cremated. The service typically lasts 30 to 45 minutes, sometimes longer if you have booked a double slot.
The service can be religious, non-religious, or humanist. You choose the readings, the music, and who leads the ceremony — a vicar, a humanist celebrant, a family member, or any combination you like.
Direct cremation
A direct cremation has no attendants and no service. The person is collected, cremated, and their ashes returned to the family — usually within a few days. There is no gathering at the crematorium.
This option has grown significantly in popularity, partly because it costs considerably less than an attended funeral, and partly because it gives families more control over when and how they mark the death. Many families hold a separate celebration of life weeks or even months later — at home, in a pub, in a garden — at a time that suits everyone.
What happens at a cremation funeral service
If you are attending an attended cremation for the first time, here is what the day typically looks like.
Arrival
Mourners usually arrive 10 to 15 minutes before the service. The coffin arrives separately, carried by bearers from the hearse into the crematorium chapel.
The service
The officiant leads the ceremony, with music, readings, and tributes woven through it. Most modern crematoria have screens for photo slideshows and sound systems for pre-recorded music. Live musicians are possible, though not every crematorium can accommodate them — worth checking when you book.
The committal
At the end of the service, the coffin moves behind curtains or through a set of doors — this is called the committal. Exactly how it happens varies by crematorium. Some families choose to have the curtains remain open; others prefer them drawn. Some choose to leave the room before the curtains close. There is no single right way, and your funeral director can advise on what is usual at that particular venue.
After the service
Flowers left at the crematorium are displayed outside after the service, and families often walk past them together before departing. Many crematoria have a garden of remembrance where you can scatter ashes later or arrange a memorial plaque. A reception at a nearby venue typically follows.
What can go into a cremation coffin
Cremation coffins must be made from natural, combustible materials — MDF, chipboard, solid wood, wicker, and cardboard are all commonly used. The coffin cannot contain glass, metal, or PVC.
You can usually place personal items inside with your loved one — handwritten letters, photographs, soft toys, flowers — provided everything is made from natural materials. Jewellery and metal items need to be removed beforehand.
Pacemakers must always be removed before cremation, as the heat causes them to explode. Your funeral director handles this as a matter of course. If you are unsure about a specific item, ask them — they will know what the crematorium accepts.
What happens to the ashes
The actual cremation takes place after mourners have left. The coffin is placed in the cremation chamber, where it is exposed to temperatures of around 800 to 1,000°C. The process takes approximately two hours. Any metal components — joint replacements, surgical pins — are separated from the remains afterwards and responsibly recycled. The remaining bone fragments are then processed into the fine ash that is returned to the family.
Your funeral director or the crematorium will return the ashes to you in a sealed container, usually within a few working days. From there, the options are wider than many people realise:
- Keep them at home in an urn or another container that feels right
- Scatter them at a place that mattered — the coast, a hill, a garden, a favourite walk
- Bury them in a churchyard, cemetery, or natural burial ground; some families bury ashes in an existing family grave
- Divide them among family members, including placing a portion in memorial jewellery
- Have them transformed — a growing number of companies can press ashes into a vinyl record, incorporate them into a reef ball, or use them to grow a memorial tree
In England and Wales, there are no legal restrictions on scattering ashes on private land, though you should ask the landowner's permission. Rivers, lakes, coastal waters, and national parks are common choices. Some national parks ask that you scatter at a distance from paths and watercourses.
How to personalise a cremation funeral
A cremation service can be as personal as any other kind of funeral. Crematoria are neutral spaces that do not carry the associations of a church, which gives you a lot of room to shape the day around who the person actually was.
Music is one of the most powerful ways to do this. You can typically choose three or four pieces — something for when the coffin arrives, something during the service, and a track as mourners leave. Our guide to funeral songs covers a wide range of choices, from traditional hymns to contemporary pieces, if you need a place to start.
Readings can be poems, scripture, song lyrics, or prose the person wrote or loved. They can be delivered by the celebrant or by a family member — many people find it one of the most meaningful things they do at the service. Funeral poems offers a curated selection for different moods and occasions.
Other ways to make the service feel personal:
- A photo slideshow or short video tribute shown on the crematorium screen
- A printed order of service with photographs and the person's own words
- An open microphone for anyone who wants to speak
- A specific colour or dress code ("wear something green — it was her favourite")
- Flowers from their garden rather than a formal funeral arrangement
Cremation versus burial: the key differences
Both are valid choices. The right one depends on the person's wishes, the family's preferences, and sometimes practical factors.
Cost. Cremation is generally less expensive. A direct cremation can cost under £1,500. Burial carries the additional cost of a cemetery plot, which typically involves both a purchase fee and ongoing maintenance charges.
Timescale. Cremations can usually be arranged more quickly than burials, partly because they involve less paperwork and no plot availability to coordinate.
Flexibility. Ashes are portable and can be divided, giving families options that a fixed grave does not. Some people value having a physical grave as a place to visit; others find the flexibility of ashes more fitting to how they want to remember someone.
Neither is more respectful than the other. The choice should reflect who the person was and what felt right to them.
What a cremation funeral costs
Costs vary considerably by region and provider. As a rough guide:
- Direct cremation: £895–£1,800, typically including collection, cremation, and return of ashes
- Attended cremation (basic): £2,500–£4,500, depending on the funeral director and crematorium fees
- Full funeral with extras (flowers, catering, order of service, wake venue): £5,000–£8,000+
Always ask for an itemised quote — funeral directors are legally required to provide a full price list. Make sure you understand what is and is not included before agreeing to anything.
If cost is a serious concern, check whether the person who died had a prepaid funeral plan. You may also be eligible for a government Funeral Expenses Payment, which can cover some basic costs for people on certain benefits.
Choosing what feels right
Planning a funeral while you are in the middle of grief is hard. The decisions feel weightier than they should, and there is rarely time to think clearly. If it helps: there is no single right kind of cremation funeral. Some families want a quiet direct cremation followed by a celebration of life months later. Others want everyone gathered at the crematorium on the day. Both are completely valid.
What matters is that the choice reflects who your loved one was — not what you feel is expected of you.
After the funeral, many families find it meaningful to create a space where memories can gather long-term — somewhere people who loved the same person can add their own words and photographs, whenever they feel ready. Memoriance lets you create an online memorial that lasts, for the price of a bouquet of flowers.